As some may know, I am very much single but I also have someone in my life that I love very dearly. He and I are not exclusive at all so I don't see a problem with dating other people. My problem is that I just really don't want to date at all. And that overall problem is that I just can't seem to meet anyone worth dating. Here are my major issues:
Issue #1: Everyone say that I don't smile enough and that I'm not approachable at all. But, what people fail to realize is that I don't walk around looking for somebody. I have a lot of things on my mind most of the time and sometimes I be on a mission. So, walking around with a big ass grin on my face and giving men a look ( u all know what i'm talking about), is the last thing that is on my mind.
Issue #2: Because of Issue #1 I decided to look online and see what happens. However, I've found that every damn dude wants to fuck and that's it. They feel like cause they wrote you one time telling you how beautiful you look in your picture, they deserve to meet you that night and have their way with you...lol I don't give away nothing for free...MY APOLOGIES!
Issue #3: Because I'm young and my accomplishments surpass my age, it more times than none hurts me in the end. Many guys my age have yet to even come close and then those that have are boo'd up, so that leaves me to those who I've already dated and those who can care less about what I've done with my life and are quite frankly not interested.
Issue #4: I HATE going backwards!!!!
That brings me to my present problem, the person that i'm with but not with I love him so very much and though Issue's 1-3 don't apply to him Issue 4 does. I LOVE moving forward however God has blessed me with a man that I love and I don't want to completely shut that out on the other hand I'm completely scared of any and every thing that may or may not happen. And that brings me to my final issue.
Issue #5: I'm scared of being hurt!!!
All of that then brings me to my next question: Do issues 1-4 stem from issue #5?
If I answer it myself i'm going to say yes!!! but why? I've always been open to love but shit after many right turns but the wrong results. I think I've mentally shut down?!?!?
Saturday, December 26, 2009
It's been a while...
Hello ALL,
It's been a while and I do apologize for giving you something I couldn't give my all too. School just got too crazy and I got sick and everything else under the sun happened. But, I'm back and I'm better than ever with a whole lot of stuff on my mind. I'm trying to at least roll out 2 posts a week, so bear with me.
Love you all much!!!
oh and I also contribute to another blog http://glamchicwithus.blogspot.com/ so check us out!!!
It's been a while and I do apologize for giving you something I couldn't give my all too. School just got too crazy and I got sick and everything else under the sun happened. But, I'm back and I'm better than ever with a whole lot of stuff on my mind. I'm trying to at least roll out 2 posts a week, so bear with me.
Love you all much!!!
oh and I also contribute to another blog http://glamchicwithus.blogspot.com/ so check us out!!!
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Movie Review: Precious
Thursday after finals a group of social workers decided to go see Precious. As I sat down to watch the movie, all the reviews from other people came to mind. I immediately thought I was going to be crying for days and that when I left the theater I'd be asking why. The total opposite happened.
The first thing that opened my eyes was when Precious said, "i remember hearing one day that a successful journey started with one step."It made me feel that somewhere in her fucked up like she encountered someone who expressed to her that it didn't have to be like that. During the movie I felt as though maybe Precious knew all along that she wanted to bust her momma out for the crap she was doing but she needed someone she trusted to do that. When she came in contact with her "social worker", that seemed to be the person she trusted. She had been lying to so many people but in her eyes this "social worker" was going to be the person to save her.
However, what did bug me was how all the people that were trying to help Precious was light skinned (there's nothing completely wrong with that) but in this movie it depicted that dark skinned people were those who were trying to harm Precious and light skinned people where the ones who would save her (this view was first mentioned by @cthagod, when it was brought to my attention I couldn't believe it so I sat waiting on one dark skinned person to help her). Precious herself kept saying, "i want a light skinned boyfriend." I couldn't get past the fact that we are still not treating people like people. Within our own black race light skinned is good and dark skinned is bad. Why is that? And somewhere deep inside me knew that I was the only one out of the six of us that was thinking this. But, when I got home I thought to myself...there was a dark skinned person who helped her, there were numerous. The students in her class, they made her feel welcome they made her feel like she belonged. FRIENDS are the ones who help you the most whether they know it or not, and that was enough for me.
There were a couple of parts that made me cry and some parts where I just couldn't believe what I was seeing. But all in all, the movie didn't really move me. Maybe i've watched too many movies, read to many books, watched too much Lifetime, or came across too many people who have had the same problems Precious faced. But, it didn't move me. I didn't leave the theater with a new outlook on things. I was the same person I was when I walked in. Yet, my counter parts didn't seem to be the same people. One of them walked out the movie and stated, "After you heard what Precious' mother disclosed do you think you're strong enough to be a social worker, will you be able to hear what she says and not cry?" One by one they answered her and they all said they'd be fine but you could hear the uncertainty in their voice.
Then I started to think, can we ever hear too much of anyone's story and not feel some sort of way about it. Are we not suppose to cry? Or will it be like in Precious' case, as social workers if we cry our client then decides that we aren't strong enough to handle what is before us. In many cases if you cry you're seen as weak, not being able to handle what has been dealt to you, or you're just too damn sensitive. So my question to you is,
When is it okay to cry?
The first thing that opened my eyes was when Precious said, "i remember hearing one day that a successful journey started with one step."It made me feel that somewhere in her fucked up like she encountered someone who expressed to her that it didn't have to be like that. During the movie I felt as though maybe Precious knew all along that she wanted to bust her momma out for the crap she was doing but she needed someone she trusted to do that. When she came in contact with her "social worker", that seemed to be the person she trusted. She had been lying to so many people but in her eyes this "social worker" was going to be the person to save her.
However, what did bug me was how all the people that were trying to help Precious was light skinned (there's nothing completely wrong with that) but in this movie it depicted that dark skinned people were those who were trying to harm Precious and light skinned people where the ones who would save her (this view was first mentioned by @cthagod, when it was brought to my attention I couldn't believe it so I sat waiting on one dark skinned person to help her). Precious herself kept saying, "i want a light skinned boyfriend." I couldn't get past the fact that we are still not treating people like people. Within our own black race light skinned is good and dark skinned is bad. Why is that? And somewhere deep inside me knew that I was the only one out of the six of us that was thinking this. But, when I got home I thought to myself...there was a dark skinned person who helped her, there were numerous. The students in her class, they made her feel welcome they made her feel like she belonged. FRIENDS are the ones who help you the most whether they know it or not, and that was enough for me.
There were a couple of parts that made me cry and some parts where I just couldn't believe what I was seeing. But all in all, the movie didn't really move me. Maybe i've watched too many movies, read to many books, watched too much Lifetime, or came across too many people who have had the same problems Precious faced. But, it didn't move me. I didn't leave the theater with a new outlook on things. I was the same person I was when I walked in. Yet, my counter parts didn't seem to be the same people. One of them walked out the movie and stated, "After you heard what Precious' mother disclosed do you think you're strong enough to be a social worker, will you be able to hear what she says and not cry?" One by one they answered her and they all said they'd be fine but you could hear the uncertainty in their voice.
Then I started to think, can we ever hear too much of anyone's story and not feel some sort of way about it. Are we not suppose to cry? Or will it be like in Precious' case, as social workers if we cry our client then decides that we aren't strong enough to handle what is before us. In many cases if you cry you're seen as weak, not being able to handle what has been dealt to you, or you're just too damn sensitive. So my question to you is,
When is it okay to cry?
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